


Trophy Boyfriend

by shiptoomuch



Series: Podcasts and Pies [3]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, trophy husband jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 13:05:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6957664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiptoomuch/pseuds/shiptoomuch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Bitty was more famous than Jack</p><p>OR</p><p>Three times Jack got to be the trophy boyfriend he always wanted to be</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trophy Boyfriend

“Goodness, I hate visiting your parents. I can never find a good grocery store when I travel, and Montreal is somehow the _worst_ despite it being a great food city. How am I supposed to cook for y’all if I can’t even find flour that isn’t all-purpose?” Bitty grumbles mostly to himself as he looks at the disappointingly small baking section of the grocery store near the Zimmermann’s Montreal home. “I think I’m just going to have to order some groceries. _Again._ Because Canada is a wasteland.”

“Canada is not a wasteland,” Jack protests.

“We can’t get to the big grocery store because of snow,” Bitty fires back without missing a beat or looking up. _“Because of snow, Jacques._ It is April.”

“Yeah, late winter.”

Bitty shoots Jack a withering glare. They’ve had this argument many times in their nearly two-year long relationship. “It’s not and you know it. You’re just trying to get me riled up.”

Jack grins and steps closer to Bitty. He places his hands on Bitty’s hips and kisses his forehead. “Maybe. You’re cute when you’re angry. Your nose gets all scrunchy.”

“Shut up and go grab an artichoke and some spinach. I’m going to make dip for the podcasters coming over tomorrow.” Bitty waves Jack off and turns back to considering the selection of chocolate chips in front of him.

Jack wanders over to the produce section, basket on his arm. He’s inspecting some avocados when he gets the sense that he’s being watched. He looks up to find a very star struck looking young girl clutching a phone to her chest. Jack braces himself for the fan freakout. 

Upon making eye contact with her, she steps closer. She’s clearly nervous but is trying to look confident. “Hi…are you Eric Bittle’s boyfriend?”

Jack stops in his tracks, a grin spreading across his face slowly. He’s been waiting for this moment. He can finally prove to Bitty that _this does happen._ It’s been happening to him intermittently for the last three months since they went public as a couple, and Bitty keeps refusing to believe that it’s real. 

“Yeah, I am. He’s actually here right now, do you want to meet him?” 

The girl looks like she might actually faint. She clutches her phone even closer to her chest and nods. “Yes, holy shit. I’m obsessed with his vlog and I have his book and-wow.”

Jack smiles at her and nods toward where Bitty is probably still looking at chocolate chips. “Come on, he’s just over here.”

Jack was right about Bitty. He’s still standing in front of that same shelf, now holding two different brands of chips and staring at them intently. He looks up when Jack gets close. “Hey, honey. Who’s this?”

“I’m Holly! I’m a huge fan of yours and I saw Jack looking at avocados and I totally freaked out because he’s your boyfriend and _wow_ I can’t believe this is happening,” the girl-Holly, apparently-says in a rush. She holds out a hand for Bitty to shake, “It is such an honor to meet you, Mr. Bittle.”

“Hold up,” Bitty says, holding a hand up, “Are you saying that you recognized Jack because he’s my boyfriend?”

“Yes?”

“And not because he’s a Stanley Cup winner?”

Holly furrows her eyebrows and looks between them. “What’s a Stanley Cup? Is that a hockey thing? I know you mentioned that he’s a professional hockey player on your vlog once but I really don’t know anything about it.”

Jack has a goofy grin spread across his face and Bitty is clearly torn between glaring at his boyfriend and being sweet to this girl. Holly clearly picks up on this, because she’s looking very confused. Bitty puts a hand on her shoulder and smiles. “Please ignore Jack. He thinks he’s funny.”

“I was right and you know it.”

“Oh my gracious can you not do this right now.”

“I’ll stop if you admit that I was right and that you’re more popular than me.”

Bitty groans and slaps a hand over his eyes. “Holly, dear, do you want to take a picture?”

She nods excitedly and pulls up the camera app on her phone. She holds it out awkwardly to Jack. “Uh, can you take it?”

This only serves to increase the grin on Jack’s face. “Of course. It’s always nice to meet Bitty’s fans.”

-

“So, Bitty,” Caroline, the podcaster behind _Easy As Pie,_ says with a grin, “word is on the street that we might be seeing you on a certain talk show soon.”

They’ve got all of her recording gear set up in the living room of Jack’s providence house, and Jack has hardly had to contribute here, just sits back and lets Bitty do the work here. 

“Yeah, I’m flying out to California to film next weekend, and I am so excited you wouldn’t believe!” Bitty is practically bouncing in his seat, and Jack has to clear his throat to get his attention back on the subject at hand.

“Bits, I think she wants you to tell the nice listeners what show it is that we’re going to be on,” Jack prompts with a small smile. 

Bitty gasps and clutches his hand to his heart. “Oh of course! Jack and I are going to be on the Ellen show! And I am just pleased as punch, though it’s really been a struggle to schedule this whole mess what with this being the end of my senior year and all.”

“And how’s that going? What are the plans for Eric Bittle after college?” Caroline prods with a kind smile. “There have been a lot of rumors about you opening up your own store front or signing on to do a show with the Food Network.”

“Oh gracious, no,” Bitty says with a laugh, “I mean, I love to watch Chopped just as much as the next person, but the food waste on those shows is _tremendous._ I just don’t think I could rightly do it and feel good about myself afterwards.”

“And a bakery? I know you’ve had your local catering business for the last six months, and it’s been tremendously successful.”

Bitty blushes and shakes his head. “Oh gracious, I wouldn’t say that. It’s been good and I would love to eventually have my own front, but there’s no definite plans as of right now. First thing on the docket is finally moving to Providence full time.”

“I’m sure Jack must be very excited about that.” Caroline smiles at Jack, clearly wanting to include him at least a little bit in this interview, even though she admitted earlier to not knowing anything about hockey or who he was, really. 

Jack gives a small smile and brushes Bitty’s hand with his own where they lay next to each other on the couch. “I am.”

“Probably going to be getting a lot more attention, now that you’ve got a celebrity moving in.”

Bitty frowns at Caroline, “He’s a two-time Stanley Cup winner.”

“My life is pretty quiet, honestly, compared to Bitty’s. I’m excited to be his house husband.” Jack says with a grin. 

Caroline clearly doesn’t see that he’s chirping Bitty, who rolls his eyes. “I hate you.”

“You’re not nervous about him moving in and bringing that with him?” Caroline continues on.

“If I could have, I would have convinced him to move here ages ago?”

Bitty scoffs, “Yeah, and commute an hour by train each way every day? I don’t think so.”

“You wouldn’t have had to take a train. You would have had a car.”

“You’re ridiculous. Besides, the team would throw a tantrum.”

“They would have coped.”

Bitty levels Jack with a Look. “You lived in the Haus for a whole year, you know someone was bound to die eventually without my guidance.”

Caroline laughs delicately and grins genuinely at the couple. “You two are adorable. Any other _plans_ for your future together?”

“If you’re asking about whether or not I’m planning on marrying Eric, then yes,” Jack says confidently, enjoying the way Bitty blushes bright red.

“Oh _hush.”_

“He’s shy about it.”

Bitty smacks his arm. “You say that like you’ve proposed, which you have not. And that’s not an invitation to do it yet,” He rushes to add. “We’re not ready yet,” He says before seeing the look on Jack’s face, the same one he’s been seeing since they discussed this very subject four months ago. “Well, I’m not ready. I’m just graduating college, for goodness’ sake! I just need some time to settle into my new life, and then we’ll talk.”

He looks incredibly nervous and slightly flighty, and Jack frowns at it. He knows that Bitty is young and that the prospect of marriage is still frightening to him. That doesn’t bother Jack. What does bother him is the fact that Bitty has been made uncomfortable here. “It’s okay. I’m not too concerned about the speed at which we’re taking things. The important things with relationships is to make sure you’re both on the same page before you take any big steps. So we’re waiting until we get there. Until then, I think I can safely say we’re both incredibly happy.”

Bitty smiles and leans into Jack’s side. “Yeah, we are.”

-

“Hey Bitty, did you know that I’m apparently only with you for the money?” Jack says as he strolls into their living room, flopping on the couch and putting his head on Bitty’s lap. “Apparently I seduced you when I was doing the photography for your cookbook.”

Bitty frowns and runs his fingers through Jack’s hair. “Are they even trying anymore? Honestly, we told them that we had been dating for two years when we went public as a couple. My book came out literally six months before that. And you make more money than I do.”

“Barely,” Jack mumbles. “But I did successfully seduce you when I was working on those pictures. I remember that very clearly.”

“And I remember you bitching about the bruises on your knees from the kitchen floor for about a week after,” Bitty fires back, going to his phone. “And then suggested I get a mat for when you want to blow me while I cook next.”

“I still think it would be a great idea.”

“We’re not getting a sex mat for the kitchen.” 

Jack flips open the magazine he picked up to the section about him and Bitty. “Oh, look. Apparently I’m sleeping with Tater.”

Bitty hums thoughtfully. “Kent’s not going to be happy about that.”

“I don’t know…he’d probably suggest a threesome. Or foursome if you’re into it too,” Jack muses.

Bitty rolls his eyes and rests his head against the back of the couch. “I cannot believe how much you’re enjoying this.”

“Hey, I’m just a trophy boyfriend trying to get his moment in the spotlight.”


End file.
